Experiencing the Seder

 

Rabbi Doniel Katz:

 

"Pesach is a 'get out of jail free' card, a jail break for your soul.  Every challenge that you have can be turned around in a few moments at the Pesach seder and this is the purpose of the Pesach seder.  It is not about going through the details.

 

"I remember Pesach seders in which all that was discussed was - is the matza enough, how big is the kos, I didn't lean - do I need to lean again ...  Our actions must be done according to Halacha because then we know we are maximizing the spiritual potency.  Halacha allows us to capture the 'lights' coming down from the spiritual world and create vessels with our thoughts, speech, and actions.  The gift of the Pesach seder is we move through a halachic process and this is in order to set up a spiritual opportunity and vessel.  The goal is to set things up so we know what we're doing, but we can't get into the spiritual small-mindedness of am I getting it right, did I eat enough matza at the right time.  Once we know we've gotten it halachically right, we need to open our minds and hearts to the experience.

 

"I Hate, with a capital H, giving over explanations of the Pesach seder at the Pesach seder, because you're not supposed to be there explaining things, what is this about, what is that about, you're not supposed to be reading the Haggada for the first time ('I can't wait to turn to the next page to see what happens' ...) You are supposed to know it all already, and now (at the seder) you are taking it from Head to Heart.  The Pesach seder is about Experiencing it ("chayav adam lir'os es atzmo ...").

 

"You have those individuals who are just trying to get through it.  Then there are those who are trying to get the maximum spiritual experience out of it and get OCD about it and many people get depressed at the Pesach seder because their expectations are so high and are not being met.  Sometimes, the more you hear about the spiritual potential, the more disappointed you get.  You may be enslaved to what you think the Pesach seder is supposed to be.  The best way to catch the energy of joy and freedom is to embrace the moment, not need it to be anything." 

It's Not Over Yet!

Today (the 8th day of Chanuka) someone said, Chanuka is over.

I said, it isn't over yet!

The person insisted it was.  Proof? Are you having any Chanuka party today, I was asked.

I said, what difference does that make? It's still Chanuka!

The person said, but there is no menorah lighting tonight.  I asked, do you say on Shabbos day that it is no longer Shabbos because at night it won't be Shabbos anymore?

Was I really having this conversation?!

I said, today is Chanuka! I said "V'Al Ha'Nissim" twice this morning.  The person said, yeah, but that's all.

I said, I will be saying V'Al Ha'Nissim again in mincha! It is Chanuka until 4:29!

Not only that, but it's Zos Chanuka which we are told has special significance and is the chasima of the din of the Yomim Noraim.

Another person commented that a speaker said the Chanuka parties are bittul Torah.  Oh really? I said.  Killjoy.  Chashuve Roshei Yeshiva, Admorim, and rabbonim take part in Chanuka parties, so apparently this is a good use of the time. 

These days are yimei simcha v'hallel says the Rambam and some Rishonim hold that we are obligated to eat a seuda, while others hold that there is no obligation. The Rema in Hilchos Chanuka writes that if zemiros and shvachos (songs and praise) are said at a Chanuka seuda (party) it becomes a seudas mitzva (without this, it only has in it "katzas mitzvah" according to the Rema).

Why we have people who want to reduce the simcha in Klal Yisrael, I don't know.  Considering the numerous articles about depression and anxiety in our midst, I would expect us to be eager to partake in as many yiddishe simcha opportunities we can get.

One of the Least Known Halachos of Shabbos

Since it's erev Shabbos, I will post some halachos which I read in Torah Tavlin (Israel Bookshop) p. 402, 410, and 418.  The topic is introduced like this, "One of the least known halachos of Shabbos, one that many often transgress unwittingly, is the rabbinic prohibition against reading unwarranted material on Shabbos." 

 

Among the things listed (and I do not include them all) are, we may not read:

1) about activities which we are not allowed to do on Shabbos like cooking - recipes and crafts

2) advertisements and business type articles

3) news (unless it is to become aware of potential danger which does not apply nowadays)

4) editorials of world events

5) distressing information

6) household hints

7) shopping tips

8) dedications and mazal tovs

 

The popular frum magazines and newspapers contain news, editorials, recipes, ads, business related articles, household hints, and sometimes material of a tragic nature.  What responsibility do these publications have to publish well in advance of Shabbos? What responsibility, if any, do the publishers have to make it known to their readers, many of whom save their reading for Shabbos, that ads and recipes etc. are forbidden to be read on Shabbos?

 

What about dvar Torah papers that are left in shuls which have dedications and mazal tovs on them.  Aren't they a michshol? Are people expected to read the divrei Torah and save reading the dedications and simchas for after Shabbos? Would people donate money for these announcements if they knew that people are not allowed to read them on Shabbos?

Gaza

Try this for an interesting lecture on the halachic status of Gaza.

Saying Yes is Also Saying No

I remember that it was a new thought for me when someone pointed out the ramifications of choice when it comes to chumras.  Saying "yes" to stringencies on Pesach, for example, means saying "no," to some extent, to an aspect of the mitzvah of simchas Yom Tov (unless a person is so elevated that they truly take joy in the restrictions). 

Saying yes to someone when asked to get involved, help out, do a chesed, means saying no to whatever else you may have done in that time.  That is why it is not just the merit of the chumra or the chesed that needs to considered, but what will be gained by doing it versus the possible loss.

In fact, halacha often states what takes priority.  Since Torah study takes precedence over every other mitzvah, is it ever set aside for another mitzvah? Yes.  For example, if there is nobody else to take care of a particular mitzvah. 

But it is not always that clear, particularly with optional activities.  Ask your LOR.

A Call for Reviewing Hilchos Shabbos

Daily review of the laws of Shemiras Ha'Lashon is pushed aggressively.  Indeed, speaking and listening to lashon hara and rechilus is a grave sin.

Women are urged to review the laws of Family Purity.  Indeed, it is vital to know and observe them meticulously.

However ... what about the Laws of Shabbos?

If you have gone through "Guard Your Tongue" or some such book, you get the idea.  Do not say or listen to anything derogatory, albeit true, about anyone.  That sums it up.  There are related laws, there are exceptions, but that's the basic idea. 

If you have gone through the laws of Family Purity, then you can sum them up in five to ten minutes, what to do, how, and when.  There are many possible questions and situations that can arise, but they are asked of a rav.

But Hilchos Shabbos, which apply every single week, consist of thousands of practical laws.  There is no way to sum them up briefly in a way that is meaningful to one's practical observance.  Yes, you can say there are 39 categories of work, this is what they are, but that tells you nothing about all the derivatives of these primary forms of work and their applications. 

You can summarize Muktza by stating the five categories, but that isn't a true summary of all the laws of Muktza.  It would just be the "headlines" without providing the information that is needed to observe these laws.  It's a vast study!

And even as it is vast, every layperson needs to know them.  At the very least, they need to have a good idea of what constitutes a questionable area, even if they are not familiar with every relevant law.  And yet, those who have always been religious, rely on their knowledge and Shabbos observance of many years.  If they start to study the laws systematically, they discover that they did not actually know all the categories of muktza, or just how to deal with the food on the blech, or all the applications of borer or asking a gentile to do something for you. 

There are very many books on Hilchos Shabbos available, detailed, with and without the reasoning behind the laws, with and without illustrations.  Check this out:

and the one at the head of this post.  Find the ones that appeal to you and you're more likely to learn them.

Women and Tefilla

A question I've long had goes like this:

Women are exempt from the same tefilla requirements as men because they are exempt from mitzvos asei she'hazman grama (positive, time-bound mitzvos).  Women have household obligations, specifically, children to care for, and they cannot be obligated to daven as a man does. 

But if a woman takes a job which requires her to be at a certain place for set hours, then that would seem to demonstrate that she can do time-bound activities.  If so, why should she be exempt from tefilla like a man?

I was reminded of this question when I read an article in which a woman says davening used to be the focus of her day.  Even when she had a baby, she davened three times a day.  When she had a second baby, the demands of the newborn and the toddler did not allow her to daven much at all.  The way she put it, "Every weekday morning, I faced a marathon consisting of nurse-the-baby-feed-the-toddler-throw-on-some-clothes-change-and-dress-two-children-pack-up-the-diaper-bags-daven-fly-out-the-door ... all by 8:10."

She said she couldn't do everything and so, she gave up on davening.  She goes on to say how she learned that she could daven an abbreviated davening. 

So I don't get it.  She can work six hours a day, a time-bound activity, despite her childcare and household obligations which she delegates to others, and this exempts her from davening, a time-bound activity.  Why?

Halacha and Women

As I finished the Artscroll book about Rebbetzin Kanievsky ( previous post ), I saw two pictures that caught my attention.  One shows her husband and sons sitting shiva.  The other shows her brothers sitting shiva.

So what struck me about the photos?

We recently read parshas Emor which says that a kohen hedyot must impurify himself for his parents, wife, siblings (including unmarried sisters), sons and daughters.

What struck me is how chashuva people, distinguished rabbis, men who don't waste time but spend it learning and teaching Torah, had to stop their learning (and avoda in the Mikdash) in order to mourn for ... a woman.  In Jewish law, men go through the identical mourning rites for their mother, sister, wife and daughter as women do for men. 

For those who question women's role in Judaism and how halacha regards women, this could be a powerful way to convey the Torah's respect for women.

Reason enough!

Many people are sharing their opinions with the world these days by adding their comments to blogs and websites (and you, dear reader, are invited to add your comments to this blog!).  A comment that I have seen on a number of occasions is one which disdains the rabbis for focusing their attention on - what the person writing the comment thinks is - trivial in the "greater scheme of things."  They often use the topic of infestation of fruits and vegetables such a strawberries as an example of what irks them.  They wonder why the rabbis "obsess" about "invisible" bugs as though somehow the rabbis have only x amount of time and if they use it on bugs in our food, they won't give the proper attention to predators in our midst.

Rashi tells us in parshas Shemini 11: 45 that if Hashem took us out of Egypt only so that we don't defile ourselves with swarming things like the other nations do, that would have been reason enough!

Yes, there are important issues in Jewish society that needs the attention of our leaders, but lavin d'oraisa (Biblical prohibitions) rank way up there in G-d's scheme of things and this particular prohibition of not to consume insects was reason enough for G-d to take us out of Egypt! Let's get our priorities straight.

Successful "In-Reach"

I spoke to someone who saw a problem, thought creatively about how to fix it, and who followed through and took action. 

She observed that in the homes they visited on Shabbos, people with yeshiva background were unaware of certain laws of Shabbos, particularly those concerning heating food.

She organized an event by approaching the kosher restaurants in their area, 95% of whom donated platters of food which was a tremendous draw, by sending out 1500 invitations, and by carefully selecting a speaker that would draw a crowd.

She got 100-200 people (wish I knew more precisely), and raised $6000 for needy brides along the way. The audience learned hilchos Shabbos, had a great social event, had terrific food, and gave tzedaka.\

Pretty amazing.

Has anybody participated in or heard of any creative, successful events that were geared for frum people to raise halachic consciousness on any other subject? Do you have ideas of your own?

Knowing Right from Wrong

It seems that the highest praise you can give someone these days is to describe them as "non-judgemental." This certainly has a source in Torah as in "b'tzedek tishpot es amischa", "hevai dan es kol ha'adam l'chaf zechus" and "al tadin es chavercha, ad she'tagia lim'komo" ("judge your people in righteousness," "judge everyone to the side of merit," "do not judge your friend until you reach his place").

However, what is often forgotten is the mitzva d'oraisa of "hochei'ach tochi'ach es amisecha" (Rebuke shall you rebuke your fellow).

Not being non-judgemental has very specific halachic rules as follows:

If at all possible, you should give people the benefit of the doubt. We must always give a pious, yirei shomayim, the benefit of the doubt, even when it seems most likely that what he did was improper.

The rules about an average mitzva observer are:

If you see them doing something that looks wrong, and the likelihood of zechus (innocence) and chov (guilt) seem equal, we should give them the benefit of the doubt.

If chov seems more likely, leave it undecided in your mind, but strictly speaking you can assume they did wrong. It's still a good thing to give them the benefit of the doubt though.

Nowhere in these halachos does it say anything about blurring good and bad! In other words, even when we are giving the benefit of the doubt, the reason we need to do so is because something looks amiss!

The Torah is very clear about right and wrong. There's no such thing as tolerance or vatranus (looking away) when it comes to right and wrong. Vatranus has to do with being personally hurt or wronged, and overlooking it.

The liberal approach of "everybody is entitled to their opinion," is not a Jewish view, unless it has to do with food preferences or similar things with no right and wrong.

Some examples from Chumash: 1) Yaakov asked the shepherds why they had stopped working when the day wasn't over yet.
2) Moshe saw two Jews fighting, and he rebuked them.  Moshe didn't look away, he didn't think "live and let live," let them work it out, it's none of my business ... He judged them to be doing something wrong, and he called them on it.

The calls for unity through tolerance are misplaced and not Torah-based. We can be united despite  the fact that other people are wrong, yes, wrong. Unity is not about blurring right from wrong.