Bird Sighting

Right outside my window, on the ledge, was a bird that looked like this:

I was quite sure it was a female cardinal and I checked online and I was right. I knew the male cardinal is bright red, like this:

It was a thrill to see this not-very-common bird a few inches away from me. It did not seem to know I was there, on the other side of the glass. I'm used to seeing pigeons and sparrows, some starlings. A cardinal sighting was a treat!

No Sandwich

So this is what I learn from Yisro.

That when it comes to fathers-in-law and sons-in-law, 1) a father-in-law can criticize his son-in-law as it says: Yisro saw everything Moshe was doing to the people and he said, what is this that you are doing? ... What you are doing isn't good!

2) That you can give unsolicited advice (maybe this applies only to fathers-in-law to sons-in-law).

3) That the advice does not have to be done with the "sandwich method," in which criticism is "sandwiched" between two positive comments.

Annoyingly Wonderful

When it's before Yom Tov, especially a "3 day Yom Tov," and there is so much food prepared, so many bottles of drinks, so much challa, so many containers to store away, and it looks impossible to fit everything into the fridge and freezer, I've said - this is good! True, it's hard to arrange it all, but that's because there is so much food and that's good!

I read an article in which the author gives this type of scenario a good descriptive phrase.  Peshie Needleman calls it, "annoyingly wonderful." The examples she gives are of her toddler who is up way too late, just not falling asleep, and she is frustrated until she thinks about how he recently had a virus and was lethargic and napping a lot.  When he was better and full of energy too late in the evening, it was annoying but wonderful too.

She says "annoyingly wonderful" are those things that are annoying, frustrating but come from brachos like having children and a spouse and a house and an abundance of food, so they are wonderful.  "Blessing-based annoyances should not be taken too seriously," she says, and she's right.

Sign of the Times?

 

My, oh my.  An item in a Chinese auction booklet goes as follows:

 

It is called "Glow of a Gadol" and says:

 

"Thousands have basked in his light, and thousands more would pay anything to gain access to his wisdom and blessing.  Choose one night of Chanukah to see Rav Chaim Kanievsky up close and personal for a transcendent experience of a lifetime.  Touch the holiness and awe as you watch the Gadol Ha'dor light the Chanukah lecht with otherworldly kavanos and leave a changed man.  Includes 2 round trip tickets."

 

Why is it that I cannot imagine a similar auction booklet entry for Rabbi Moshe Feinstein or Rabbi Yaakov Kamenetzky thirty years ago? Because it would have been unthinkable at the time.  For one thing, Litvishe greats were not treated like celebrities or Admorim.  For another thing ... do I really have to explain?

 

Same Old

In the mid 1960's:
Race riots in Cleveland
The Vietnam conflict intensified
The president of Argentina deposed by a coup
The prime minister of South Africa assassinated
A sniper shooting at the University of Texas that killed 13 people and left 31 wounded
In Chicago a mass murderer killed eight student nurses
In an upscale Chicago suburb the daughter of a US senate candidate was murdered in her bedroom

When people say, look at the world around us, it's gone crazy. We haven't seen anything like this before, I say - really? Isn't that what is said every decade?

How Independent are You?

Someone in a shiur referred to a social experiment that sounded very interesting.  I looked it up and it is here.

 

After watching it, the question for you is, what would you have done?

 

I think I would have asked what they are doing, or gone over to the receptionist to ask.

 

The Rambam talks about the positive aspects of peer pressure and urges us to live among good people. 

 

There are many ways in which peer pressure is used in a good way in our frum society. 

 

Responses to appeals in shul are announced so that other people will be encouraged to make donations too.

 

When shemiras ha'lashon has become something we are all aware of, it is less likely that someone will feel comfortable sharing derogatory gossip.  In communities that dress a certain, tzniusdik way, it is less likely that people will go against the community norms.

 

Of course, we have our frum social pressures that are not that wonderful too.

 

I think this video should be seen by high school aged students, maybe even younger.  It provides a great introduction to a discussion about what we do because other people around us are doing it, for good and bad. 

 

 

A Peek at Biblical Times

I just finished reading a book about a slum in India.  The extreme poverty in which millions of people live is quite awful.  However, what struck me about what I read, is how the people the author describes regularly transgress the sins of idol worship, sexual immorality, murder, theft, corrupt courts - that's five out of the seven Noahide Laws!

There is a scene in which a person is seen lying on the roadside, badly injured.  The author describes various people who pass by and do nothing to help, being busy with their own lives.  The hours pass.  More people see the weakening man whose cries become fainter.  By the end of the day his corpse is carted away and the wrong cause of death is deliberately written down in the records. 

That is when it struck me - this is what Avrohom Avinu had to contend with, a world of idolatry, murder, immorality, and corruption, the likes of Sedom, the people of Canaan, of Egypt.  Through India, we get to see the revolution Avrohom brought to the world.  Monotheism! Kindness! Loyalty!

And we can see the inroads that the message of Avrohom and subsequent generations of Jews has made in the world.  America, in particular, has championed the Bible and has promoted Torah morality and values.  It is known as a malchus of chesed which is unprecedented in the history of the world.  And where does this value of the sanctity of life and the desire to help others come from? From Avrohom and the Jewish people.

There are many Americans threatening these values today, those who equate the life of a gorilla and a human, those who seek to legalize immorality, those who support legalizing the murder of babies.  But although this is terribly harmful, the bedrock was laid and we won't be going backward to barbarian times.  Truth, justice, and the supremacy of one G-d will hold sway.

Dishonoring Our Great People

 

A longstanding peeve of mine was reinforced today as I was listening to a shiur.  The person giving the shiur said, "I was walking on Shmuel Ha'Navi ..."

Shmuel Ha'Navi is the name of a street in Yerushalayim.  There is a section of Yerushalayim where the streets are named for the prophets: Rechov Shmuel Ha'Navi, Rechov Yechezkel, Rechov Eli Ha'Cohen etc.

I have long thought it is wrong to name streets for great people because what ends up happening is, it is not an honor to them, but a dishonor.  Like, "Let's meet for pizza on Shmuel Ha'Navi," or as the person giving the shiur said (though didn't mean it as it sounded), he walked on the prophet.

Beautiful Names

Sometimes you hear people say, "What a beautiful name!" when they hear the name of a baby or are otherwise told about a name. 

Question is, what do they mean? What makes a name beautiful?

I can think of two factors.  One is the significance of the name; it's not the name per se but what it signifies, maybe the person being named for.

Second is more mundane, that the syllables are pleasing to the ear.  Names with a ches sound are not mellifluous.  Names with a lamed are.  And if there is more than one name, it's how pleasingly the names sound together, if they "work" well together or just seem stuck together randomly (in which case usually only one of the names will be used on a regular basis).

Other reasons?

Pestering Rabbis

I was listening to a shiur in which the lecturer proudly enumerated all the gedolim he had gone to visit in Eretz Yisrael when he was there with his son for his son's becoming a bar mitzva.  It was a list of at least ten people which included :

 

R' Landau

R' Berel Povorsky

the Pinsk-Karlin Rebbe

R' Yaakov Meir Shechter

R' Yitzchok Scheiner

R' Gamliel Rabinowitz

R' Meir Soloveitchik

the Belzer Rebbe

R' Aron Leib Shteinman

 

and he said he even paid someone to "get him in" to see a certain gadol. 

 

Now it's a mitzvah to see one's Torah teacher on a Yom Tov, and any time one needs advice or to discuss things, but to go to random rabbis, i.e. these are not your Torah teachers, and to make them into "tourist attractions," is disturbing.  Disturbing to me hearing about it and certainly disturbing to the rabbis being visited.  Why does he think it's okay to take away from their time in order to meet with him?

 

Oddly enough, later in the talk he referred to being a nudnik who bothered them.  But that didn't stop him from getting those brachos he wanted.  I picture a scorecard with the names of a variety of gedolim on it and a box to check off if a bracha was successfully elicited.

 

What a contrast to the hero of the book I wrote about here in which he seeks out actual relationships with great people and does so by seeing what he can do for them.

 

 

 

 

21

Not My Identity

A man came out of Russia after having suffered greatly there for being a frum Jew.  Yet, he did not look the way you would have expected him to look.

There was an air of serenity about him, and someone asked him to explain it, considering the life he had led.

His answer was, "Mir darf zein hecher foon dem" - we need to be above it.

We had a discussion about this, with someone posing the question - what does this mean?

I said it means not becoming defined by your hardships.

Thoughts About Remaining Anonymous

I know there are people who feel strongly opposed to anonymous letters to the editor.  Someone recently wrote a letter to Mishpacha magazine complaining about anonymous letters containing personal opinions and criticism (as opposed to understanding unsigned letters about personal matters) letters and putting forth these reasons:

1) It is unfair to the target of the criticism
2) It is difficult to take anonymous views seriously
3) They seem to avoid charges of hypocrisy as though the authors express one view to their community and another, anonymous view to the public
4) Anonymous rebukes and criticism lack authority and sincerity and are of little value.

Are you convinced? I am not. 

1) Why is it unfair? Is the criticism valid or not? Why does a name attached to it affect its validity?
2) Why is it difficult? You are welcome to skip those letters but again, if the content has validity what difference does it make?
3) And let's say the author has a view for the community and a public view, how does that affect you the reader?
4) If you think those letters are worthless, don't read them! As for me, I think, “kabel es haemes mimi sheomro” (Rambam, intro to Shmone Perakim) - accept the truth from the one who says it.

In short, I do not see the logical imperative in the declaration: unsigned letters have little value.  And anyone can make up a name so the letter looks signed. This complainer would reject all letters signed by people with common names: Schwartz, Cohen, Goldberg, even if those are truly their names!

As for me, my letters to the editor are usually, but not always signed.  This blog is not signed!

Succos in China!

A full page ad in a frum magazine lets us know that if you find Eretz Yisrael boring, and don't want to go to some ho-hum location for Succos, and if staying at home is not even something you would consider, then China might just be the place for you.*

You will definitely have unique Chol Ha'Moed excursions.  Tired of the aquarium and the zoo? Don't want to go to another amusement park or apple picking? Not interested in a concert, slide show or the newest frum movie production? Think just hanging out in your succa (fulfilling a mitzvah thereby) is not exciting enough?

Well, the Great Wall of China with BBQ dinner is something different.



*for the sake of accuracy, it's not the ad said that outright; the ad just advertised Succos in China

Less than Six Degrees of Separation

I have seen a man in my neighborhood, quite an elderly man, who said he saw the grandson of the man who was blessed by the Baal Shem Tov and lived till 117.

So that's:

the Baal Shem Tov (d. 1760)
the man who was blessed
his grandson
the man in my neighborhood

There is the theory of six degrees of separation that says everyone and everything is six or fewer steps away, by way of introduction, from any other person in the world.  This is quite an amazing variation on that.

Al Taam V'Rayach ...

 

We say there's no accounting for taste or, in the Hebrew version, "על טעם וריח אין להתוכך." I tried a store bought cookie from one of those packaged, plastic containers and thought it was less than mediocre, really sub-par, and I wondered how did this company manage to make such a lousy chocolate chip cookie? They didn't even look good.

 

A few hours later, I was present when one kid took one of these cookie and said, yum, these cookies are soooo good.  I found that astonishing enough but then another kid echoed the same sentiment!

 

Maybe they have never tasted good (never mind excellent) chocolate chip cookies before and this is all they know? Or maybe to each his own.

If Just One Person ...

Have you ever heard the argument,"If just one person will gain ... it's worth it?" Or, "If just one person will be hurt ... it's not worth it?"

It makes for a compelling argument but only emotionally.  Logically, it doesn't make sense.  For example, I recently read a news item about an Israeli umpire dying after being hit by a ball.  Does anybody think we should outlaw all ball playing in which a ball is thrown, because "if just one person will be hurt, it's not worth it?" Of course not.  People play ball.

Does anyone think we should ban all cars because, "If one person is killed by a car, the minuses outweigh the benefits?" Certainly not.

There needs to be a cost analysis, i.e. benefits versus the minuses, plus knowing how many people will be affected, before a decision can be made.  In some cases, it might very well be the right thing to do even if only a few people will stand to gain or lose; in other cases, not at all.

Lucky 10 Cheshvan

I have been informed that, right now, Yud Cheshvan, is the birthday of Gad ben Yaakov Avinu.  When this child was born, Leah said, “Ba gad,” ‘a good sign has come,’ and therefore gave him the name ‘Gad.’ Rashi gives three interpretations of ba gad, one of which is good mazal.

Therefore, 10 Cheshvan is an auspicious day and a mazal'dige time to undertake anything, material or spiritual.

Good luck!

Most Influential Pasuk

Earlier this year, I came across a book called "28 Verses that can Change your Life," which presented pesukim that can change your life.  In the introduction to the book, the author asks the reader what pasuk has been most influential in your life.

The question piqued my interest and I thought about it and asked numerous other people this same question along with "why this pasuk."  The answers I received were varied, interesting and sometimes beautiful and often touching.

Shortly after that, Aish did a piece on "Favorite Jewish Quotes" and asked readers to submit theirs.  And then Mishpacha's Family First had an article in which they asked women which pasuk in Tehillim is most significant to them.

How about trying it yourself.  Come up with your own and ask others.  It is enlightening!

Where are my Glasses?

I woke up this morning and felt for my glasses on the night table in the usual spot.  They weren't there.  I felt around on the floor in case they fell.  They weren't there.  Did they fall under the bed? No.  Did they fall into a bag near the bed? No.  Where are they?

At some point, as I looked at the clock on the night table, I realized ......... I had never taken out my contact lenses the night before! I had slept in them but was focused on looking for my glasses since that is what I always do. 

It's astonishing to me that something that I do every single night, i.e. take our my lenses, wasn't even a thought last night.  Nor did I notice that I hadn't taken off my glasses.  And it took me quite some time to realize I was wearing the lenses.  What does that say about supposed engrained habits?

Is there a nimshal here? Something about our thinking we can't see (we don't understand, we don't know what to do) and because we think we can't see, we act accordingly (confused, unsure, do the wrong things).  But we really can see.  It takes awareness to know this.  "Ata chonein l'adam daas."

Mushy Nougat Chips

I'm not sure what this is a mashal for; maybe you can tell me.

I have a bottle of nougat chips.  I saw that some had melted and stuck together just by being in the pantry.  I shook the bottle, thinking that would knock them apart.  I did not pay close attention so when I didn't see the desired result, I shook it again. 

This time, to my dismay, I saw what was happening when I shook the bottle - even more nougat chips stuck together until they had formed a mass of chips!

I then spent time prying and cutting them apart and stuck the bottle of mangled chips in the freezer (the fridge would have done just as well).

So my efforts to achieve a desired result, caused the exact opposite result.  And what did I do? I continued the same, not futile but counter-productive action! Then I caught on.  And the nimshal is?