Some Answers

(see previous post)

Answer 1:

cheirus

as we say in the Pesach davening - zman cheiruseinu

Answer 2: 

Let My people go so they will serve Me.

I think that line, from the Torah, includes the ideas of 1) we are Hashem's chosen people, 2) that He is involved in the details of our lives, 3) that our purpose in life is to serve Hashem - all three vital messages encapsulated in those words.

Answer 3:

If you don't let G-d's people go you get in mucho trouble!

The Fish Story that Sparked a Tikkun

14 years ago, people were buzzing about the talking fish in New Square. Some believed the story, others scoffed. It became the source for many a joke.  You can read about it here

I had no reason not to believe it and I looked askance at those who automatically dismissed the story.

Last year, before Pesach, Family First magazine had a remarkable story. In it, a woman shopping in a very busy hardware store before Pesach saw a woman who looked out of place in New Square, who looked like she needed help.  She offered her assistance and the woman said she was making her first Pesach and was not sure what to get and what to do.

The woman, who looked like she was in her early 30's explained that she drove all the way from West Haven, Connecticut to New Square because of the fish story.  Her family was traditional - they went to synagogue for Yom Kippur, and each year there was a big family seder. But then it petered out and her father died, and she did not attend a seder since she was 17.

She said her father loved to fish in a brook near her home.  When she heard the story about the fish that said "tikkun," she felt her father was talking to her through the fish, telling her to correct what she had abandoned, to make a Pesach seder again. And she thought "there was no better place to start than here (New Square), the place that was witness to the fish with a message."

The New Square lady helped the woman choose what to buy for Pesach and a few days later she went to West Haven to help her kasher her kitchen and get it ready for Pesach.

Timely Vort

This vort catches my fancy. I do not guarantee that the people cited as saying them are the correct sources. I would love if someone could verify it for me.

A thought from the Chozeh of Lublin:

The parshiyos of Bo, Beshalach, Yisro, Mishpatim, Terumah, Tetzave and Ki Sisa, all contain within them different Yomim Tovim. If you make the effort, you can experience the aura and inspiration of that particular yom tov during these coming weeks.

Parsha Bo has the story of the Exodus from Egypt which corresponds to Pesach. 

Parshas Beshalach has the Splitting of the Sea which happened on Shvii shel Pesach (the 7th of Pesach).

Parshas Yisro, has the Ten Commandments, corresponding to Shavuos.

Parshas Mishpatim, which has numerous laws, dinim, corresponds to the Yom HaDin and Yimei HaDin, Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur   

Parshas Terumah has instructions for the building of the Mishkan and with it came the cloud that hovered above it, which corresponds to Succos.

Parshas Tetzave has the lighting of the menorah which corresponds to Chanukah. 

Parshas Ki Sisa which has the mitzva of giving the machatzis ha'shekel corresponds to the month of Adar when the half shekels began to be collected.

Another version or point to the vort, cited in the name of the Spinka Rebbe, is that the weeks of these parshiyos with yetzias Mitzrayim, kerias Yam Suf, and Mattan Torah, are more spiritually potent than the actual yomim tovim of Pesach, Shevii shel Pesach, and Shavuos! 

This is because the parshiyos contain the the koach (power, spiritual strength) of Torah while the yomim tovim are the koach of zeman (the time of year that they fall).

No Such Thing as Being in Limbo

There was a sad write-up about the fifth person to die in the Har Nof shul massacre, Chaim Rothman, who lingered for almost a year after the attack last November.  Mishpacha interviewed his wife who said a most remarkable thing.

Someone commented to her, "Risa, poor thing, you're in limbo." And she could have remained in this situation for years, with her husband comatose, terribly injured, and she raising her large family, the youngest is five, on her own. 

But Mrs. Rothman said, "That comment didn't sit well with me, and the next day I realized why.  I realized, no, I'm not in limbo.  There's no such thing.  This 'limbo' place is exactly the place where I'm supposed to do my avodas Hashem, not waiting for the time when it will be better.  Someone who's waiting for a shidduch or a baby or any other yeshua, this is where you have to do your avoda - in the waiting, not when it gets better.  Limbo is now, limbo is here, where I have to develop myself, not this happy picture of where I would like to see myself."

A Tzadekes in Our Time

This article here was published in 2002 about Mrs. Henny Machlis a'h and this one here in 2009.  I read them back then, and was amazed.

To my dismay, I read of her tragic passing at the young age of 58 on October 16 - 3 Cheshvan, after a horrible illness here.

I'm seeing new articles about her, here and there.  They tell about her remarkable outlook on life, how she truly believed and did not merely say that Hashem is in charge, how she loved children so that nine out of her fourteen children were born via C-section, how she excelled bein adam la'Makom and bein adam la'chaveiro.  And she was born in Brooklyn, to kind parents to be sure, but it wasn't like she came from an exotic locale, born to a kabbalist, and raised in unusual circumstances.  That's what make her accomplishments that much more incredible as well as doable. 

How Are We Different 3

As a follow-up to previous posts on the topic of "Mi K'Amcha Yisrael"

here and here

I read (Mishpacha magazine) that a Cleveland benefactor came up with a fantastic chesed idea for families traveling on the afternoon and evening of bedikas chometz, when their car is chometz-free and everyone is hungry.  He, together with others, picked a location between Lakewood and Cleveland on the side of the highway and set up a huge roadside barbeque where travelers going in either direction could stop for a hot meal.

There was no cost for the meals; rather, donations were made to Cleveland's Matan B'Sayser fund.  This year, there was also a food stop located on the route between Toronto and Detroit.

The news item says 1100 people enjoyed hot meals between 1 and 10 pm, there were minyanim for mincha and then maariv, and when rain threatened, two bachurim hurried to the nearest Walmart and bought tents.

Quite impressive!

Most Influential Pasuk

Earlier this year, I came across a book called "28 Verses that can Change your Life," which presented pesukim that can change your life.  In the introduction to the book, the author asks the reader what pasuk has been most influential in your life.

The question piqued my interest and I thought about it and asked numerous other people this same question along with "why this pasuk."  The answers I received were varied, interesting and sometimes beautiful and often touching.

Shortly after that, Aish did a piece on "Favorite Jewish Quotes" and asked readers to submit theirs.  And then Mishpacha's Family First had an article in which they asked women which pasuk in Tehillim is most significant to them.

How about trying it yourself.  Come up with your own and ask others.  It is enlightening!

L'Maiseh ...

continued from previous post

I think back to some book reviews I posted here over the past six months or so, Shlomie, Joseph, The Chicken Lady.  I am so impressed by each of the people written about.  But in what way has my admiration for them translated into anything practical?

There are two approaches I think one can take.  One is the "Rabbi Akiva and water dripping on the rock" approach.  You may not see immediate results or any results, but if you keep on hearing positive, Torah messages, they have an effect.  Even if you cannot clearly see the cause and effect, like water dripping on a rock, which eventually wears it away, we too, are affected by what we hear and read.

The other approach, which responds to his second question: given limited time and energy, what is the most effective way to foster change, requires you to come up with a practical application.  Maybe, after reading or hearing something that makes you so "wow," the next step must be - okay, so now what? What can I do to emulate them?

As to whether a formula can be devised to make it more likely that a talk or article will have positive, practical effects, it is probably impossible to find out which speaker or writer has the most impact.  There are very popular speakers, they can be funny, deep, and insightful, but aside from the entertainment and educational value, who can say what moves whom to lasting change? If there are speakers out there whom we know can be credited with numerous baalei teshuva or communities that have grown spiritually, can we analyze their method? I think it often comes down to their particular personalities and siyata dishmaya; I don't know to what extent they can be copied.

A Momentary High?

The Chofetz Chaim zt"l

Eytan Kobre raised an interesting point in one of his Mishpacha articles.  His daughter was going to attend one of those inspirational programs with a lineup of popular speakers.  Even as she was looking forward to attending, she said she wondered whether the experience would be one in which she would go to lecture after lecture and end up by feeling inspired without any concrete results.

That's a provocative point to ponder for those who attend or listen to shiur after shiur and/or read one inspiring book and article after another.  Speaking for myself, I ooh and ahh over powerful messages, new ideas, touching stories and moving biographies, but then what?

Kobre goes on to refer to the famous episode in which the Chofetz Chaim exorcised a dybbuk from someone possessed of it, a story that his talmid, R' Elchanan Wasserman repeated annually on Purim (or parshas Zachor).  Kobre wrote that a talmid of Radin, later a rav in the Bronx, was a witness to that dybbuk incident.  Years later he said, "Do you think being present at that awesome moment had a lasting effect on me? For two weeks afterward I behaved like a malach (angel) and then, I went right back to the way I'd been before."  Pointing to the wall he said, "It had an effect on me like it had on this wall."

Likewise, Kobre wondered what effect remains two weeks after hearing an inspirational talk.  His questions are:

Do inspirational talks never help foster changes in people's lives? He says, surely that is not so.  But the question is what approach, given limited time and energy to devote to personal growth, is most likely to help one succeed?

to be continued

Spiritual DNA

I read a terrific chinuch idea in an article by Rabbi Hillel Belsky, printed in Hamodia's Inyan magazine. 

He described a talmid of his whose achievements in general were average but who was particularly devoted to tefilla b'tzibbur.  He never missed a minyan and the disparity between his punctiliousness with this mitzvah and other areas of his spiritual life was obvious.  "Upon investigation, I learned that his grandfather, whom he had not known, used to stand on street corners trying to collect people for a minyan in a dying neighborhood."

R' Belsky is the founder and dean of a seminary in Yerushalayim and he says he tries to enlist his students to search their family backgrounds to find the specialness of their ancestors.  "Who were they? Were they known for anything special, big or small? Any area of avodas Hashem for which they were moser nefesh? It all becomes a part of their singular and collective spiritual DNA."

The idea is "to encourage students to claim their forebears' strengths as their own."  On the subject of Shabbos, the students were asked to find out about any instances of mesirus nefesh for Shabbos on the part of their parents, grandparents and so on.  He says "the stories the girls told could have filled a book!"

"Every family has stories.  I want my students to connect to these stories."

And it's true.  A family does not have to be illustrious to have inspirational stories.  A family does not even have to be religious to have mitzva-related inspiring stories.  We need to speak to family members and glean these stories so that we have personal inspiration to draw upon.

Bechira not Victimhood part 2

I was reminded of this post: here when I came across another remarkable and similar story.  She is a young girl raised by drug addict parents, in environments without electricity and running water.  And yet, she has been singularly focused on getting an education and making better choices than her parents.

Here is the CNN fascinating article and video: here

What's missing is what makes her and her brother different than countless people growing up like her, who choose to follow in their parents' footsteps.  She says,  "If I had not had those experiences, I wouldn't be such a strong-willed or determined person." But I don't believe that! I think her nature is to be strong-willed and determined and therefore, despite her abysmal upbringing, she is focused on making a better future for herself.

Personal Choices

Back to the topic I wrote about here about wanting to do something that demonstrates our caring about Eretz Yisrael.  I read an interesting article by Tali Simon in which she writes about meeting a girl who did not eat chocolate because she wanted a personal, constant reminder of the churban.  The idea was that each time she missed a piece of chocolate cake or chocolate bar, she'd be reminded of a a more important thing that we are missing.  Isn't this extraordinary?!

The author thought she was crazy at first, it seemed too extreme, but then she grew to like the idea and adapted it for herself.  She had committed, at age 16 to settle in Eretz Yisrael but knew she had to finish her schooling first in America and would then be involved in shidduchim.  She was afraid she would lose her resolve and end up living elsewhere.  So she decided that she would not ice cream out of Eretz Yisrael.  She kept her commitment for six years (which included 10 months in an Israeli seminary).

Two things impress me about this.  One, that a person cared enough about something to come up with a practical and personal way of handling it, and two, the follow-through, the discipline to stick with it.  We may often be inspired and have good intentions, but how often do we follow through?

Bechira, not Victimhood

I read chunks of a fascinating though creepy book in which the author describes in detail what it was like growing up with drug addicts for parents.  I didn't read the entire book because some of the descriptions of street life and the underworld were too seamy for my sensibilities.  However, it is quite remarkable that with such a turbulent, unstable, poverty-stricken upbringing, the author and her sister have made fine lives for themselves.  The following quotes are taken from interviews that were held with the author:

I grew up with a family surrounding me and a home full of love.  It just so happened that my parents were addicted to cocaine and heroin and my mother was an alcoholic.
I realized my life is a blank slate.  I had the freedom to declare - what do I want my life to be about?
It occurred to me that the answer is education.  I felt invigorated by going back to school.
Nobody knows what's possible until they do it.
Every single day is another chance.
I learned to say - it's unlikely but it's possible, and put all my efforts into possibilities rather than limitations.
I felt deeply loved by my parents.  I don't hold anger towards them.  I saw them as sick.  People can't give you what they don't have. 
I knew I had to be independent.  It was up to me to figure out my life.  I felt no one owes me anything.  I'll have to figure stuff out on my own. I'll have to create what I want in this world.  I was responsible for my life.  No one was going to pave the path for me.  It was normal for me, something I understood instinctually, not a realization that I had.
I was homeless at the same age that my mother was homeless and I wanted to break the cycle of poverty I had come from.  So choice by choice, day by day, I went to school.  Part was choice and part was having the help, the support.
After my mother died, and we loved each other deeply, her dying unlocked my mind to possibility in my own life.  At one moment I had a family, I had my mother and then I lost everything.  Life changed rapidly, for the worse.  I saw that life can change and I was inspired by this. 

What transforms a life? One empowered choice after the next, over time.
I had a passion that I felt of - what if I just kept going?

You either move on or you don't and I decided to move on.

Let go of being stuck in the energy of all the things you don't have, and be grateful for the things you do have and calling that enough, and moving forward from there.

In the frum world we have children, teenagers, young adults and even older adults who need to hear messages like these.  Even if their circumstances were not quite like those of this author, the message of bechira rather than victimhood is powerful.  The downside is that this author doesn't speak about G-d; it's all about her choices.

It would be enormously helpful if we had the frum version of this woman's story, the story of a contemporary frum boy or girl who overcame adversity to become solid people with firm Torah values.

No matter what your history is, no matter where you've come from, every moment is a new possibility.

An Elul message indeed.

GPS - Navigation for Your Soul

I'm really enjoying this book, "GPS - Navigation for Your Soul - inspired by the writings of the Nesivos Shalom" (an Artscroll Shaar Press publication). 

There are chapters on Hashem's tremendous love for every Jew and how nothing we can do can eradicate that love, how to respond to our challenges in life, and the power of our mind.  Rather than present fundamental ideas in ordinary essay form, the authors use an extremely friendly layout and format that engages the reader.  Although I am familiar with the ideas that are presented, I am interested in reading all 487 pages because it is a pleasure to read this book.

It is an excellent source of inspiration and a reminder about who we are, what our relationship with Hashem is about, and what we are here to accomplish, suitable for teens and up.

How Long Does the Pleasure Last?

It has been said that pleasure from material things doesn't last long, ex. delicious food, while pleasure from spiritual things last.

I don't find this to be true.  Do you?

If you felt inspired when you attended a class or read an article, if you helped someone and felt very good about it, if you were spiritually uplifted on Yom Tov, did those feelings last? Are those who felt uplifted by the Internet Asifa still feeling that way now, or do they merely remember that they felt uplifted?

When we say "last," how long are we talking about? Can it be proven that pleasure from spiritual things lasts longer than pleasure from material things? Only if there is a group of people who are willing to keep track of how long they feel good after material and spiritual experiences.  They would be asked to rate how they feel several hours later, a day later, a few days later, a week later, a month later and that would give us an idea of how long the feelings last.  Until that happens,  I am not convinced.

Inspired by an American Gadol

I look forward to reading the books (there are two) about Rabbi Nosson Tzvi Finkel z'l because the articles that I've read about him have been so inspirational. 

He suffered tremendously from Parkinson's and yet, when he was asked by someone who had suffered a number of tragedies how he learned mitoch yissurim (amidst suffering), R' Finkel answered, "I don't learn mitoch yissurim.  I learn mitoch simcha!"

The way he pushed himself, beyond what anybody in his physical condition would dream of doing, is just amazing.  And of course, he pushed himself for Torah, in order to give a shiur, to fundraise, to interact with the talmidim.  Also appealing is that he was an American gadol (albeit transplanted in Israel), someone who grew up as a regular American Jewish dayschool kid.  He sounds like someone we can relate to.

How Are We Different 2

Here is a follow-up story to my post on "mi k'amcha Yisrael" click here for post which Rabbi Matisyahu Salomon heard from Rabbi Chaim Shmuelevitz and related at the 11th Siyum Ha'Shas.  The latter had asked a Holocaust survivor how he survived, how he retained his faith. 

The survivor said: We were not able to keep any mitzvos in the camp.  We had no Shabbos, no Yom Tov, we could not learn, we could barely daven.  We were taken out early each morning to work in the forest and marched back to our barracks after dark.

But there was one thing that the Nazis could not take away from us, the moon.  There were men who kept track of the Jewish calendar and knew when Rosh Chodesh would be.  A couple of days later, we would look in the sky to see if the moon was out.  Then, as we were being marched back to the camp, with soldiers on both sides of the column, someone in the middle would whisper, Men ken machen Kiddush Levana (we can perform Kiddush Levana).

We would join hands and as we marched we began the bracha.  We came to the words, "He said to the moon that it renew itself, as a crown of splendor for those borne [by Him] from the womb, those who are destined to renew themselves like it .."

The moon symbolizes renewal, the renewal of the Jewish people, the renewal of the Malchus Beis Dovid.  We said those words and we felt strengthened.  We told ourselves that we will one day experience renewal.

Mi k'amcha Yisrael

(from "Living the Parsha, Bo)

How Are We Different?

I saw a news item recently about a woman (apparently not Jewish) who needed a kidney who posted on Craig's List and got 800 responses.  She actually got a kidney from one of them.  That made me think about the items I've read recently about Jews giving kidneys to other Jews, to people they did not know.  It is a special thing to do but after reading about the 800 responses, it made me think about the phrase "Mi k'amcha Yisrael" - Who is like Your Nation Israel, which we use when a Jew does something special and we feel proud.  Kidney donations are not exclusive to Jews!

I was perusing an Italian cookbook in which the author describes her childhood memories of the elaborate preparations that went into making Sunday dinner which was eaten with the family after mass.  Jews are not the only ones who have a weekly, wonderful family meal! Nor are we the only ones to celebrate holidays.  There are non-Jews who take their holidays very seriously and make elaborate preparations and give them a lot of thought.  Shabbos and holiday meals are not exclusive to Jews!  And Americans, in particular, give a lot of charity, run many chesed organizations, do many acts of kindness, and are hospitable to strangers.

This got me thinking - when does the phrase "Mi k'amcha Yisrael" truly apply in a Jews-only sense? What do we do that is unlike any other group for which we can say, "Wow! Mi k'amcha Yisrael!"? Alternatively, maybe there are things that we do that other groups do too, but we do it in far greater numbers or in a special way.

Come on readers out there - share your thoughts!

I Was Touched

The person took my hand in their two hands and the blessings poured forth.  I was overwhelmed.  What an intense experience.  What heartfelt brachos.  More and more. 

What a beautiful thing it is to bless people, with all our heart.  Let's do it now, before Rosh Hashana.  Anytime. 

Kesiva v'chasima tova, shana tova u'mesuka, to all.

Seeking Inspiration

I've read a number of Artscroll biographies, which I've enjoyed. Maybe I've chosen to read about interesting personalities. I don't agree with the complaint that the subjects are boring and interchangeable. Anyone who has read the books about R' Shraga Feivel Mendlowitz, R' S.R. Hirsch, and R' Pam would have to agree that each one stands out as an individual and their biographies do not consist of: he was a child prodigy, he learned a lot, he learned some more and had students whom he taught.

In an interview, Rabbi Nosson Scherman, Artscroll's general editor, said, "Our goal is to increase Torah learning and yiras shamayim. If somebody can be inspired by a gadol b’Yisrael, then let him be inspired. Is it necessary to say that he had shortcomings? Does that help you become a better person? What about lashon hara? You know in today’s world, lashon hara is a mitzvah. Character assassination sells papers. That’s not what Klal Yisrael is all about."

Is it that I'm not remembering or are the critics exaggerating when they say - the subject was a child prodigy who held from every conceivable chumrah (stringency) and who never said a word of lashon harah.  One reads nothing about the obstacles within their families or society that they had to overcome to become the great people they became.

The reason I've been thinking about this is because I heard a lecture about the Cairo geniza in which they found writing by the Rambam.  The lecturer was very pleased to see that the Rambam doodled.  The geniza expert explained that Rambam's pen was running out of ink, he filled it, and made the squiggle before he continued writing.  The lecturer loves this as he sees it as making the Rambam human, a person like us.  He asks, does it do anyone a favor to read of a great Torah leader and how he mastered this and that at very young ages?

I don't understand his question.  Favor? If the man was a prodigy, should we hide that information? The fact is, the overwhelming majority of our great Torah leaders were brilliant and mastered unbelievable amounts of Torah before they were 20.  I like knowing that the Torah leaders who have shaped Jewish life were great intellectuals.  I also like to know that they were kind, but I see nothing wrong, on the contrary, I want to hear that our Torah greats were extraordinary men! The fact that the average child or person can't measure up to them in brilliance is just fine.  It's good to know our place.  That shouldn't deter the person looking for inspiration because it's there, if you want it.  I am reading the revised biography of Rabbi Moshe Feinstein.  Yes, he was brilliant but the average person can be inspired to be a masmid like him and as kind as him.  We can use these biographies as an excuse or an inspiration; the choice is ours.