Power of a Song

The other day I heard a remarkable story.  A woman who taught preschool 37 years ago, met a man who told her that he still remembers the song, "Hashem is here, Hashem is there, Hashem is truly everywhere," that she taught the class.

He said this song guided him in life.

What a zechus for Uncle Yossi (Goldstein) a'h who composed the song!

Mean What You Say and Say What You Mean

No sooner did I finish listening to a shiur in which the speaker said this is an alma d'shikra (world of falsehood) in which words do not retain their true meaning, than I heard the following.  Someone with a son in shidduchim said her son told her that in the yeshiva world, when they refer to someone having "lots of yiras shomayim," those are code words for "lots of money!"

Ironically, this came up on the Shabbos of parshas Vayeira in which Avrohom said to Avimelech, "there is no yiras Elokim here!"

It's not the only code for money.  People say "balabatish" or "comfortable," but to use a term like "yiras shomayim" for money? Unacceptable!

Reverence for Parents - A Lost Midda?

As heard from the speaker:

She attended Gateshead Seminary and the school was going on a boating outing on Lag B'Omer.  She knew that her parents were opposed to her going on boats, even if it was a school activity and even if it was Lag B'Omer, so despite the importuning of her friends ("Your parents didn't mean this trip ...") and her great desire to join everyone else, she remained behind. 

She sat in the seminary and read until, to her enormous surprise and delight, there was a knock and there were her father and uncle! They had something to take care of in the vicinity and decided to drop in, unannounced, and see her.  Of course, had she gone on the trip, she would have missed seeing them and she felt oh so good, having followed what she knew her parents wanted her to do.

As heard from another speaker:

She grew up in a little town in Europe and there was a childless woman who would frequently give her rides on her bike.  One day, the woman came by to give her a ride, but her mother inexplicably refused to allow her to go.  Shockingly, the woman on the bike was in an accident and was killed.  Her mother had been guided by Heaven to protect her from going with the woman.

What I "took" from these stories, particularly the first one which involved a young lady, not a child, is how powerful family loyalty is, how priceless it is when children are proud and committed to doing as their parents say.  When a child of any age can say with pride that they do or don't do something, "Because that is what my parents do," the parents have done something right in the raising of this child.  The woman of the first story reveres her parents.  How many frum children today revere their parents? They may like their parents and think they're "cool," but reverence? Not doing what you know they wouldn't want you to do even if they are not around to see? Sounds like a firm foundation for yiras shomayim which entails not doing what Hashem doesn't want you to do, even if it doesn't look like He is around to see.

What can we do to cultivate Yiras Shomayim?

yiras shomayim=fear of heaven

If you were/are looking for a shidduch for yourself or your child, how would you determine whether a candidate has yiras shomayim?

If you were a principal of a school and needed to hire melamdim or moros, how would you know if the interviewees have yiras shomayim?

I think that there are two categories of yiras shomayim. "Real" yiras shomayim is something between you and G-d. Yira is an emotion of the heart and only Hashem knows what's doing in your heart. Yira is fear, fear of sin and awe of Hashem. How do we behave when alone? Is it with the feeling that "shevisi Hashem l'negdi samid" (I place Hashem before me constantly)? How about when away on business, out in the boondocks, on vacation when there are challenges with kashrus, observance of Shabbos, tefilla etc. Do we cut corners when no one is looking?

What I'll call "practical" yiras shomayim is seen in a person's actions, and it is this that we are told to look for in a sofer, shochet, melamed, shidduch. And this entails adherence to Shulchan Aruch and even beyond.  But we are complex people and sometimes (oftentimes?) some of our actions demonstrate yiras shomayim while other things we do, show the opposite.  As the Gemara says, even a thief as he is going about his sinful activities, prays to Hashem for success! And there are also things that we do that are motivated less by yiras shomayim than by habit and doing whatever other people do.

As far as how to instill yiras shomayim in children, in Gemara Shabbos, Rabbi Nahman ben Yitzchok's mother was told by astrologers -your son will be a thief. So she made sure he covered his head, saying to him, 'Cover your head so that the fear of heaven may be upon you, and pray [for mercy]'. In fact, the word "Yarmulka" is comprised of two words: Yareh Malka-the fear of the King.

Teaching children brachos and to answer amen, to kiss sefarim when they fall or when they have finished using them, to behave in shul, not to enter Shabbos at the last second (or later).  What else?