Sensitivity to Subject Material

I met someone who expressed her dismay over frum publications referring to such sensitive matters as miscarriage.  Another person chimed in, saying today it's all out in the open and how years ago, we only had Marcus Lehmann to read and weren't exposed to these sorts of subjects, and do you remember how one magazine created a fervor with its article about sonograms ...

I said, what about what 10 year olds learn in Mishnayos Shabbos, for example.  That exposes them to plenty of "interesting" material.  The response was that from Torah they relate to it differently, it just passes them by.

Hmmm, guess it depends on the kid. 

Shortly after this discussion, I noticed "miscarriage" mentioned in one of the most conservative publications.  I remain unsure what the fuss is about when it concerns sonograms and miscarriages.  I suppose it's a big deal for those who do not tell their children that a baby is on the way and the children find out only when there is a mazal tov.  For the rest of us though, who don't consider an impending birth a great secret, I don't see what the problem is.  I suspect that if we discussed it further, we would discover that at the root of it is the fear that children will ask how babies are made.

Weekly Frum Publications: Are We Better Off Now? part 2

continued from previous post

One of the editors of Mishpacha wrote a short piece called "What they want," about what readers want to read about.  Her list included:

role models, show me greatness
make me laugh
inform me, about health, finances and psychology that I can apply to my life
make me cry with heartwarming stories
inspire me
let me face the prejudices I didn't know I had

I think Mishpacha comes up with terrific people to interview and they have tremendous resources so they can cover people and topics all around the world.  I like the overall tone and look of the magazine which is upbeat, even if I sometimes disagree with specific points or even an approach.  I feel I "belong" more with Mishpacha than the other frum magazines. 

I wonder what impact it (and the other magazines) have on frum society.  Are they really changing the way people think about societal issues? Could be, though how could we measure it?

Naturally (to those who have been reading this blog), I am not thrilled with their coverage of mental health issues.  Here and there, some good perspectives have been presented but there has been too much mainstream thinking, i.e. the importance of "mental health professionals" and taking medication.  Additionally, there have been an abundance of articles about nuts of all kinds which makes me wonder how nutty are we (frum people)? Is every other person on medication? Must we continue to focus on our mishugasin? I'd like to see an emphasis on healthy, normal, balanced thinking.

Weekly Frum Publications: Are We Better Off Now?

Mishpacha magazine recently published their 500th issue.  This led to thoughts and comments about what life was like, not that long ago, without all these weekly frum newspapers and magazines.  Like cell phone usage, it's hard to remember life prior to this burst of frum literary output. 

What did people read? What did I read?

People read the Jewish Press and there was the Jewish Observer which was published 10 times a year.  Not much else in frum media.  The Jewish Homemaker from the OK, Jewish Action from the OU four times a year.  No weekly magazines.

Now we are flooded (if we choose to read them) by articles with biographies, profiles of interesting Jews from all walks of life, stories of baalei teshuva and kiruv, news from a frum perspective, and lots and lots and lots of articles and first person accounts about poor mental health, about our foibles and worse.

A strong reaction from someone, to a comment about Mishpacha's 500th issue, was we were better off without it (and all the other publications).  Yet this person reads and enjoys Mishpacha magazine! I don't think they mind all the beautiful articles about special people; it's the relentless focus on what ails us, all the kookiness among us, the aim to be "honest" and "courageous" and the insistence that the mental health profession has the answers.

Am I more uplifted when I read it?
Am I more frustrated?

to be continued

What We Read

In an article I read, a mechanech from upstate New York, not referred to by name, says he makes the effort to travel and speak and makes a point of denouncing certain frum publications by name.  Why? He said one of them had an article about the life of a billionaire and this is antithetical to the desire we should have for a simple life.

I don't know who the man is and I don't know which publication he is referring to.  I don't know why this information was not shared when the man thinks it's his mission to go public with his opinion.

It is possible that the magazine he castigates made a poor choice of a topic.  Let's say they did.  If we followed his recommendation, we would eliminate a magazine or magazines geared to the frum reader.  I'm not convinced this is a good idea when reading material for the frum reader is limited.  Would he prefer that we read secular reading material instead?

Perhaps.  Maybe he thinks that if it comes under the auspices of a frum imprimatur, we are not on guard.  When we read something from a secular source we might be more alert to contradictions to our values.

On a related topic, there are reading lists one can get for children, of books that are not of Jewish content but have been vetted for appropriateness.  Artscroll has published textbooks with classic English literature that they selected for appropriateness.  I've been thinking about this.  I've also been thinking about someone reading "All for the Boss" for her English class.  It's a terrific book which I've read four times, but for an English literature class?

To read or not to read, that is the question.
Or, to read and what to read, those are the questions.

All for the Sake of Israel

An article about the devastation left in the wake of a tornado in Oklahoma speaks about the tears and our hearts going out to the people there.  Many (most) of us just go on with our lives. 

As mentioned in the previous post, there are just so many news items about death and bereavement and sorry states of affairs that we are exposed to.  In recent days we have had a Moslem hacking a person to death on the streets of London, a tornado, over 1000 people killed in Bangladesh, a bizarre conclusion to the case of missing women in Cleveland, a chilul Hashem trial concerning sordid matters in Lakewood, constant reports and updates about the travesty at the Wall and in the Israeli government.  It's overwhelming. 

So what tears for Oklahoma? How many of us cried over the destruction in Oklahoma? At the very least, we should be thinking that when we hear of a flood in a far-off land, or an epidemic, or war, or famine, the purpose is to bring us closer to G-d. "No misfortune comes into the world unless it is for the sake of Israel" (Yevamos 63A), "in order to cause them to fear G-d and to return in repentance" (Rashi, ibid.)

It helps if, as the article says, "We can stop for a moment and consider the enormity of the devastation." Perhaps to look at some pictures.  To think about how this relates to us.  It's hard to do. I know that in order for something to hit home for me, it usually has to be personalized.  When you read stories about individuals, it makes more of an impact.  And no question, when something happens to your family, i.e. to your fellow Jews, it affects us more.

 

Information Overload

From a blog called Susan's Musings:

... I have been deluged with reports of serious illnesses with requests to add the sick to my prayers, articles about the tragic death of a young girl in a pedestrian accident and links to introspective pieces about troubled marriages, mental illness and other challenging life experiences.

Relatively few years ago, I would not have known of much of this... While I knew of sad occurrences taking place in my local and intimate social circle, word of personal tragedies around the world didn’t intrude into my space....

Prior to the ubiquitous presence of the Internet in my life, the tragedies in the lives of those I know were offset by the joys. Yes, I heard of a friend’s stillborn infant or a relative who was diagnosed with cancer, but at least as frequently and usually more often, I heard of an engagement, a birth or other celebratory events. Now that everyone is connected to everyone else, I am asked to add my prayers to those of thousands of others around the world, pleading for a complete recovery for people I have never met or previously heard about...

The urgent emails notifying me of crises are not offset by joyous reports... I’m invited to share in the sorrows but never told of the celebrations or the normal, uneventful daily lives that pass without horrifying interruptions.

This is our reality. We can access news non-stop and disseminate information at the click of a mouse. Geographic distance is no barrier to communication. This is, in many ways, a wonderful advance. Yet, it carries with it the danger of being overwhelmed by gloom.  We can come to expect bad rather than good...

How true.  If you check in with each of the frum news websites, you will find out about frum people involved in car accidents, sudden deaths, fires, drownings, operations about to take place, disasters of all kinds.  It's relentless.  It's news.  It's not only that we are connected globally.  It's that we are updated constantly. 

Years ago, you may have gotten the Jewish newspaper which was published once a week.  You may have tuned in to a Jewish radio program that was broadcast once a week.  Now, in addition to frequent Internet updates and emails, we have many weekly (even daily) newspapers and magazines.  They've got to fill them up and we have been getting a surfeit of articles addressing all our frum societal problems as well as first person "sharing" of all kinds of tragic lives with details that we might be better off not knowing.

Nobody says you must visit news sites and nobody says you must read frum publications.  The alternative though, is to be disconnected from our Jewish brethren which is not an option.  How to do this while remaining positive is a challenge.

Put It Back Under the Rug!

I had a good laugh today when I was discussing Jewish magazines with someone.  Way back when, a magazine with frum content was a rarity and it was treasured, said S.  Now we have so many of them and they're writing the same material.  How many times can I read a mother-in-law, daughter-in-law, discovery about bi-polar, should I tell the secret - kind of story? Let's put all the problems back under the rug where they came from; a nice big rug. 

Mental illness is an important subject and S was wasn't minimizing that.  It was the highlighting and harping on it that has become annoying, at least in S's opinion.  I said - why not write a letter to the editors and tell them? S said it has been done before and it usually prompts three letters in return saying how vital it is to raise awareness, with one letter saying that a particular article saved someone's life. 

To renew or not renew the subscriptions is something the S couple discusses.  It provides material of Jewish content for the family, so they will probably renew, but other than a poignant memoir about a unique individual or a particularly nice "slice of life," S is tired of the magazines.

I still read them.  Not that I subscribe though.  I get them as hand-me-downs.  I think it's wonderful that there is much worthwhile Jewish reading material around.  I would also put in a request for less of the problems in our communities and more about the "healthy good stuff" that is going on, but I'm not tired of them yet.