Apr 7, 2013

Spare Yourself

I'm almost finished reading the Artscroll book about Rebbetzin Kanievsky a'h.  It has been a very enjoyable and inspirational read about a very special woman.  Her outstanding midda was patience.  She had patience for nudniks and mentally unbalanced people, as well as the hundreds who came to see her daily.  Her heart overflowed with love and concern for others.

When her concerned family and friends wanted her to cut down on the number of visitors she received each day, her standard response was:

"Hashem has allotted each person a certain amount of agmas nefesh (aggravation) to suffer in this world.  Every time you feel someone else's pain, you are sparing yourself personal pain.  Hashem sees the anguish you are suffering with your friend, and if you undertake to actually help your friend, Hashem will most definitely minimize the personal pain you were slated to suffer."

This reminds me of this post.


  1. I think that the difference is that our children and homes are our personal responsibilities. Mentally unbalanced people are communal responsibilities and each person in the community gives what he or she can to those individuals. If we don't take care of our own children, who will? Should we have children with the expectation that if we fall short in caring for them adequately, that the community will step in and raise them for us? If we see that we are inadequate to raise a large family, should we have one anyway or ask a rav for advice on limiting or spacing?

  2. This woman has given me chizuk to move on and make my mother whom I lost this year 'cry' current. In a book to be released this August- Daled Elul in time for her yartzheit 'The Fiery Spirit'.

  3. I'm in the middle of this now and am really really enjoying it! Looked back to see if you had reviewed it. :)