(saying about an infant/toddler ) "The baby is bored."
(asking a child) "Are you bored?"
(assuming) "He/she is doing that because he/she is bored."
(reinforcing) "So what will you do later so you won't be bored?"
(overheard by child) "Yes, please come over; otherwise the kids will be bored."
How is it possible, when a child has a friend over to play (presumably to ward off boredom) that they can approach the parent for guidance as to "what they should do next" and they can't play endlessly by themselves? This is possible when the parent has instilled a boredom mentality in the home so that the child has been programmed to say, "We played X and we did Y, so what should we do nooooow?"
Have you seen people wheeling a carriage with a toy attached to it? As though the world is "old hat" to the toddler and therefore he needs a toy to occupy him and prevent boredom. How silly!
Is there a concept of "boredom" in Torah? Is there room for boredom in Jewish life when we are meant to account for every second of our time? Although children are not yet obligated in mitzvos, are we not doing them a great disservice by even mentioning the possibility of having time on one's hands with nothing to fill it as this goes to counter to avodas Hashem? How can a servant of Hashem be bored when Hashem's service ought to fill his life completely?
I suggest not using the word "bored" at all with children. One day, they might come home from a playdate or from school and say, "What does 'bored' mean?" having heard another child use it. And what if the parent responds, "It means they don't know what to do next - isn't that funny?"
How can parents who provide their children with books and toys and games and crayons and crafts even entertain the question of "I'm bored, what should I do?"
Another suggestion: Have your child(ren) make a list of all the possible activities they can do. The list can be divided into Shabbos and weekday activities, activities they can do by themselves and with others, indoor and outdoor activities. The list needs to be revised as they grow - the list for 4 year olds is not the same as the list for a 6, 8 or 10 year old.
And you can introduce the idea by saying, "Let's make a list of all the things you can do so that when you want to do something, you can look at the list and be reminded of all the possibilities." Then, if the child asks you what they should do, you can say, "Let's take a look at your list of activities and you can pick something."
If a child is taught how precious the tefillos of children are, and how precious the words of Tehillim are, they can be reminded that anytime they want to do something worthwhile, they can say some Tehillim.
If a child is given story tapes to listen to and books to read, they will have good material to think about. A child with a rich intellectual life has been given a gift! What did Scharansky do for years in jail? He spent a lot of time playing chess in his mind, against himself, when in solitary confinement!
R' Zushe of Anipoli said you can learn three things from a baby:
1) always be busy
2) when you need something, cry out for it
3) when your needs are satisfied, be happy
If you see a baby (and I daresay a toddler and school aged child) that is not busy and happy, something is amiss. Let parents not be the ones inculcating a problem!
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