Feb 20, 2017

No Sandwich

So this is what I learn from Yisro.

That when it comes to fathers-in-law and sons-in-law, 1) a father-in-law can criticize his son-in-law as it says: Yisro saw everything Moshe was doing to the people and he said, what is this that you are doing? ... What you are doing isn't good!

2) That you can give unsolicited advice (maybe this applies only to fathers-in-law to sons-in-law).

3) That the advice does not have to be done with the "sandwich method," in which criticism is "sandwiched" between two positive comments.


  1. If anyone here has read Rabbi Avigdor Miller's Q and A's or heard any of his quotes or read them, can you help me find this that I remember reading/seeing. He said that if a man has a day off work or something, he should go to the beis midrash and learn there and not come home until 10 pm. Has anyone else heard/seen this? Thanks.

  2. I have it in an email:

    "Shabbos is a glorious opportunity and it shouldn't be wasted. In wintertime, there’s a long Friday night. In summertime there’s a long Shabbos afternoon. People who climb into pajamas Shabbos after the evening meal in the wintertime and in the summertime climb into bed after the seudah and climb out just for Mincha (afternoon prayers) are committing suicide. They’re ruining their lives.
    Motzei Shabbos (the evening after) is an opportunity. Don’t just run around visiting relatives. Forget about relatives. You have one relative you have to visit; that’s yourself. Life is only for the purpose of making something out of yourself.
    You have Friday night and all day Shabbos. Shabbos morning before davening should be utilized. Shabbos afternoon, Motzei Shabbos, too. If you don’t work on Sundays, then be a kollel man on Sundays.

    'Oh', your wife will say, 'at least one day a week you have to be home'. Say, “My dear, I am not in the yeshiva now. The yeshiva people are all going full speed ahead every day of the week. I have one day, and that one day I should waste?” Sunday morning, say goodbye to your family, take along lunch, and spend the day someplace else. Don’t go home until nighttime. (Nighttime means 10:00 at night.)"

    You can contact newsletters@simchashachaim.com
    and ask for the R' Miller emails.

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