My Children, Myself

In Zecharia 3:7, the angel says to Yehoshua the High Priest, "So says Hashem, if you go in My path ..."

The commentary Metzudas Dovid says this means, "If your children go in My path, and he [the angel] said it about him [Yehoshua] because a person's children are considered like himself."

Over the years, in numerous articles, I've seen how parents separate themselves from their children.  This is in the sad situations in which the child is not going in the ways of their parents and the parents agonize over this.  One way they have of dealing with it is to say things like: children are entrusted to us but they are not ours, we do the best we can and they have free choice, we can teach them and show them but ultimately the decision is theirs in how to live their lives. 

These lines are true but when the parent adds a "disconnect" to their perspective, this flies in the face of how we were created.  As Metzudas Dovid writes, our children are like ourselves.  This is why it is so devastating when they don't carry on our ways.  With a disconnect we don't feel as invested and we don't try as hard. 

To deny that our children are like ourselves might temporarily make someone feel better, but since it is not the reality, it is a false assurance.

May all parents derive yiddishe nachas from all their children.