The same thing happens with every yom tov.
I read about the yom tov. I listen to shiurim about the yom tov.
And then there's the yom tov and I don't feel cheirus on Pesach or extra joy on Purim.
Chanuka - I plan and make special Chanuka foods, we light the menorah, and often get together with family members. And the days of Chanuka pass and it's nothing special except for the actual lighting. I can list dozens of themes and ideas about Chanuka but this does not go past the brain and into my heart so that I feel the yom tov.
Sad to say, the menorah lighting itself can be a "pain" because of the timing, having to get home to light so it breaks up a gathering earlier in the day, it keeps us looking at the clock because we have to get home, or keeps us at home and we can't leave until we're finished sitting with the lights, which is pathetic because if the lighting is a pain then I've really missed the boat!
Chanuka is certainly more exciting with young children around because you take enjoyment from their excitement, but that can't be what Chanuka hinges upon.
So, my thinking went this year, if I keep on doing the same thing every year (read-listen-cook-visit-host) I can expect the same results. What should I do differently?
to be continued
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I think that the enjoyment of most Yom tovim hinge upon sharing them with young children. Imagine an elderly person or couple who is alone on a Yom Tov or a single person who is not invited to share the excitement with another family. In our community, there is an outdoor lighting somewhere almost every night and one shaliach had a whole extravaganza in a public area and probably got lots of non-Jews as well as Jews. There was also a parade. It can be exciting if a person likes that stuff or again, has little kids.
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