Jun 18, 2015


When we describe a child, a young person, or anyone as "mature," what do we mean by that? Some characteristics are:

the ability to delay gratification
the ability to see the bigger picture
being responsible, taking responsibility
working/living for something higher than yourself
seeing beyond yourself, feeling other's pain

How do you become mature?

Maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you do with them,
and what you've learned from them, and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.

A speaker said that when he was a bachur in yeshiva, there would be a basketball game motzoei Shabbos, not for the bachurim, but for men in the neighborhood.  One of the players was a guy who years earlier, had been the basketball star in the mountains in camp.  At this point, he was older and not in fine form.

The game began and a foul was called against him and he was so upset that he took the ball and said, "It's my ball and I'm leaving."  Those who remained were stunned.  He sounded like a five year old and yet, he had children of his own!

As the speaker noted, just because you aged, doesn't mean you changed and matured.  There are adults who have married and live adult lives but are as immature emotionally as they were when they were children.  We need to actively seek change or we are likely to remain the same.

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