Yaakov is punished for hiding Deena from Eisav in parshas Vayishlach. When you consider that Shimon and Levi were 13 when they killed the city of Shechem and Dina was younger than them; and when you figure out that Eisav was almost 100 years old, you realize that the Torah's idea of marriage and a husband and wife having a "relationship" is far different than ours.
The most famous example of this is Rivka being 3 years old and Yitzchok 40 when they married. Yaakov was 84 when he married Leah and Rochel. The seemingly romantic scene when Yaakov kissed Rochel at the well occurred when Yaakov was 77.
Our modern, Western sensibilities look askance at "child brides," and yet, Jewish girls in Yemen and Morocco were often married by 11-12. The Chofetz Chaim married at 17. It was commonplace for Eastern European Jews to marry in their mid-teens.
We seem to think we have some sort of monopoly on what is "proper" and what isn't, what is a perversion and what isn't. Our views are colored by the culture we live in. We would do well to remember that.
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In some Arabic countries, children are still married very young and in some cases, this is a great act of cruelty. Not only are these children robbed of the joys of childhood and schooling but many die trying to give birth. Often they are married to older men who don't care what happens to those children since if the child dies, he simply finds another one to marry.
ReplyDeleteJews probably married at the same age as did others in the country in which they lived.
It is a good point that we are locked into our limited culture because sometimes we ignore possible good shidduchim because we are strictly following a cultural norm. For example, I live in a small community where there are few local to local marriages and even fewer marriages where the chosson is younger by several years than the kallah. Luckily, two local families recently broke the mold and their children became engaged to each other. We sometimes need to rethink our culture.
Yes, it can be cruel and in those countries, women and children are not treated properly. However, when Jews married very young, "joys of childhood" were not a consideration. Again, it's a matter of cultural perspective.
ReplyDeleteAnother thought that occurred to me about Dina's situation is that the "honor killing" her brothers did was to kill the man who had violated her and the men of the city who supported him. Among some Arabs, the "honor killing" would be to kill Dina!