Oct 10, 2012

Tell Us the Reasons!



This is a letter I plan on sending to one of the popular frum publications:
Regarding the constant talk about the divorce rate among frum couples - it would be most edifying if rabbonim who preside over divorces would be interviewed and tell us the reasons that marriages end and what has changed since 20, 30, 40 years ago.  It seems to me that bemoaning the divorce rate is useless if we don't hear why marriages end. 

I'd love to see a pie chart showing the percentages for each reason for divorce: 1) immaturity and unwillingness to get along  2) discovery of medication usage that was not revealed before the wedding  3) extreme incompatibility  4) meddling family members 5) intimacy problems 6) the discovery of severe personality problems  7) great disillusionment about the person they married  8) financial commitments not upheld  9) lies discovered.

A separate pie chart is needed for those divorced after being married briefly and those married for many years.

There should be no problem about breach of confidentiality as no names and identifying information of divorcing couples need be given.

The approach to minimizing divorces would be drastically different depending on the reasons!

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