At the Agudah Midwest Convention, R' Dishon read a letter that he received. The letter, from a woman in Lakewood, told him off (his words). He felt the tears and pain in the letter. It said:
What do you want from me? You say to spend quality time with your children. Can you tell me when? I get up at 6:00 in the morning and have to hurry and get ready. I can't afford a babysitter [to come to the house], so at 7:00 on the icy road, I run to bring my son to a babysitter.
Then she goes to a town near Lakewood to teach. She comes home 2:00 and has to rush and prepare lunch because her husband has to get ready for 2nd seder. When he leaves, she cleans up the house. Her boys comes home from cheder at 4:00. In the evening she's falling apart and she has to prepare for teaching the next day. Where is the quality time for my kids? she asks.
Unfortunately, the lecture ended with R' Dishon extolling these ladies who live such a life, who are so idealistic, and he does not respond to her question. Nor does he, in any way, say: This is a crazy life you are living, in which you sacrifice your children for your husband's learning.
As R' Elya put it, " 'What you are doing is in gantzen nisht nohrmal!" (completely abnormal)" see here
The madness continues. And so do the articles about the myriad problems that children today have, and the mothers with PPD and numerous emotional/mental problems.
any type of change starts with people who are willing to swim against the tide and do what makes sense for them
ReplyDelete