Self-Contradictory Views

I've noticed the following.  People want it both ways.  They will say that children grow up just the same whether they have a stay-at-home mother or are babysat.  The very same people will say that the mother or grandmother are best for the baby.

So which is it?

They seem to realize that under normal conditions, the mother or close relative are best for the baby.  At the same time, they don't want to concede that children at babysitters are at a disadvantage!

In psychology, cognitive dissonance is "the mental stress or discomfort experienced by an individual who holds two or more contradictory beliefs, ideas, or values at the same time, performs an action that is contradictory to one or more beliefs, ideas or values, or is confronted by new information that conflicts with existing beliefs, ideas, or values."  But they don't see they are espousing contradictory views!