I read an article recently by Yael Mermelstein. She was doing renovations and was told that Mohammed, the second in command to the Jewish contractor, is actually Jewish himself. His mother and her sisters all married Arabs.
YM was told not to bother with outreach efforts since Mohammed grew up as a Muslim, married an Arab and has Arab children and is not interested in anything Jewish.
The author then tells us about Carrie who loves the Jewish people, married a Jew, feels Jewish, celebrates Jewish holidays, made bar mitzvas, and is very interested in Judaism, but ... her mother wasn't Jewish. Carrie says, "I know you don't consider me Jewish but I know that I'm Jewish. My husband considers me Jewish (after a Reform ceremony) and I feel Jewish. I feel it all the way down to my bones and I love being Jewish."
Mohammed doesn't feel Jewish, but he is.
Carrie feels Jewish, but she isn't.
So much for feelings.
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