My perspective on Jewish life, chinuch/parenting, psychology, social issues, health ...
Feb 20, 2014
Offering Unsolicited Advice
Common wisdom has it that parents should not interfere with their married children's lives. Only if they are asked for advice, should they offer it. Let them make their own mistakes.
A woman shared another perspective. All her children are married and she boldly says: How ridiculous! Why would I watch while someone makes a mistake? If someone could tell me how to avoid a mistake, I would appreciate it!
She offers advice to her married children by saying: This is what I have to say and you can do what you like, I won't be upset.
I asked: Really? You won't be upset if they don't listen to your advice?
She said: I did what I could do, and that's it.
My commentary: It is hard to give advice which you think is correct and see it rejected and not be upset. If she can do that, fine. But for those who can't, it might not be a good idea to offer the unsolicited advice.
My advice may or may not be in their best interest. It is best to ask if they are open to a suggestion.
ReplyDelete