Have you ever met someone who is absolutely delighted to do a favor? What a wonderful experience!
I was waiting at a city bus stop for a bus that is notorious for its erratic and infrequent appearances when someone pulled up in their car and offered me, and another person waiting there, a ride. The driver explained that ever since earning a license, it is their greatest pleasure to offer people rides. They even deliberately drive by bus stops in order to seek out "customers." I'm not sure who was more thankful for the ride, me or the driver!
I see it like this:
ReplyDeleteShe was out driving anyway and passed a bus stop and because she is enjoying her new driver's license, she is willing to go a bit out of her way to drive another yid somewhere. It doesn't sound like she is offering, however, to pick you up at home and take you to the dental hygienist or other specific appointments. I see people who are foodies and love to cook and give away their creative endeavors and never fail to show up at a shalom zachor, Shabbos kallah or other event, with one of their goodies. There are folks who love kids and even though their own kids are grown, they don't mind watching the neighbor's kids. I once visited someone in Flatbush and her neighbor walked in with a baby, just to say hello. The baby was not hers; it was another neighbor's baby and that neighbor was out shopping. She was loving the baby as though she was the auntie.
Then comes the situation of women who can barely feed their own brood who are expected to put together meals for every kimpiturin in the neighborhood or babysit the kimpiturin's kids even when they almost neglect their own. There are people who won't hesitate to expect neighbors who do have cars to ferry them everywhere; even when it is highly inconvenient.
We should all find those ways in which we can help those who need help but at the same time, we have to be able to set limits when we are unable to do something.
Sorry, it wasn't clear. The license was earned many years ago and ever since then, they offer rides.
ReplyDeleteI suppose you sound so negative about something so positive because you feel used and unappreciated and haven't said no when you should have.
The post was not about what kind of chesed we should do or how much. It was about seeking out and taking pleasure in doing a favor for a fellow Jew.