I have read more than once, in articles on chinuch, that children sense the truth and that parents and teachers must be truthful with them because if they aren't, children will see through them.
But is this true?
Aren't kids innocent, naive, gullible? Don't they believe in the Tooth Fairy? Haven't kids believed all sorts of things only to discover, when they got older, that they were misled? Why do some people think children have Truth Antenna?
Rather than tell parents and teachers to tell the truth because otherwise, children will sense they are lying, how about telling the truth because we need to be truthful! Midvar sheker tirchak!
Some truths are very scary or upsetting. The child who must give up his beloved baby bottles, blankets, and pacifiers may be told that they are being sent to his baby cousin so that he or she can enjoy them, when in truth, they are outgrown and being disposed of. It may give him peace of mind to feel that his beloved objects will now be loved by someone else. The child is terrified of the doctor who is going to examine his ears or give him shots. We are trying to tell the child that it is for his benefit but he most likely feels otherwise. We can't lie and say that it won't hurt but we can bribe the child with treats to get his cooperation. In the end, he may forget that we offered him a bribe.
ReplyDeleteWe can't lie about death but we can lessen the intensity by saying that the person went up to shamayim but leave out the part about being buried in the ground. Little kids may not be ready to hear that Vashti, as bad as she was, died a violent death. Instead they are told that she was sent away.